Posted on Jan 31, 2019

MEMBERS ONLY: Mitch McConnell Doesn’t Want You To Vote

Posted in Members Only, Politics

An epidemic is plaguing the Republican Party these days. For some reason, perhaps it’s their consciences or perhaps it’s the pressure of backstopping an incompetent nincompoop in the White House, who knows, it could be anything. Whatever the root cause, it appears as if the Republicans can’t stop accidentally blurting the truth. Rudy Giuliani does it every time he’s on television. Donald Trump Jr. posted all of his incriminating...

Posted on Jan 24, 2019

MEMBERS ONLY: Trump Needs His Shutdown To Last Forever

Posted in Members Only, Politics

  We should probably brace ourselves for an extended Trump shutdown because there’s ultimately no reason for the president to end his ongoing temper tantrum. He straight up needs this. Even though his poll numbers are crashing, the longer the shutdown continues, the less time we’re discussing the other catastrophes circulating around the White House. There’s continued news about Trump Tower Moscow, with Buzzfeed dumping a series of documents...

Posted on Jan 17, 2019

MEMBERS ONLY: No, Gillette Wasn’t Talking About You–Unless You’re A Sexual Predator, Mansplainer, Or Bully

Posted in Members Only, Society

Don’t look now but a group of a-holes are busily destroying another retail product they’ve already purchased. You might recall the last time this happened when wizards in red hats were smashing their televisions, televisions they already paid for, in protest against something-something-something. This time, they’re destroying their Gillette products because of a new commercial in which the razor manufacturer calls for an end to “toxic masculinity.” In the...

Posted on Jan 10, 2019

MEMBERS ONLY: Don Junior Is In Huge Trouble, And Prison Can’t Come Soon Enough

Posted in Members Only, Politics

There’s one human being on this planet who I’d like to see locked up in federal prison more than Donald Trump. It turns out, the orange doesn’t fall far from the orange tree. Specifically, Donald Trump Junior is someone who is both repulsive and dangerous — perhaps more dangerous than his addled father — and that’s only partly why I’m eagerly anticipating every delicious news item pushing Junior closer and closer...

Posted on Dec 20, 2018

MEMBERS ONLY: Predicting Trump’s Political Future

Posted in Members Only, Politics

This will be my final MEMBERS ONLY piece for 2018, so in the spirit of looking ahead to the New Year, I thought I’d take some time to consider Donald Trump’s Christmas Future. Specifically, what are the chances Trump will remain the president or disappear in a puff of orange smock? This will be my final MEMBERS ONLY piece for 2018, so in the spirit of looking ahead to the...

Posted on Dec 13, 2018

MEMBERS ONLY: Trump-Russia Deniers Owe Us An Apology

Posted in Members Only, Politics

Wednesday, December 12, was another historic day in the ongoing disintegration of both the Trump presidency and the Trump brand, with Trump the man-baby moving ever closer to impeachment and ignominy. We learned that Donald Trump’s personal lawyer and bag-man, Michael Cohen, will likely spend the next three years in a federal prison. It’s also a possibility that the sentence will be reduced if Cohen decides to fully cooperate...

Posted on Dec 06, 2018

MEMBERS ONLY: In Defense Of George H.W. Bush

Posted in Members Only, Politics

Being a liberal Democrat, there are certain opinions that I have to either keep to myself or roll the dice and mention publicly at the risk of irritating people who might otherwise agree with me on…whatever. It’s never a pleasant experience, but I’ve tended toward going public and owning it, rather than withholding my views out of fear. Frankly, to this day I’m still feeling the repercussions from my...

Posted on Nov 28, 2018

MEMBERS ONLY: Mueller’s Perjury Trap Has Been Successfully Sprung

Posted in Members Only, Politics

While everything about the Trump Crisis is deeply abnormal and frustratingly opaque, we can often rest assured knowing that, no matter what, Trump always makes things worse for Trump. The closest thing to normalcy in this ongoing sack-full-of-monkeys is the predictability of Trump’s lies and the assumption that the truth is the exact opposite of everything he blurts. Along those lines, it’s a safe bet that Robert Mueller has...

Posted on Nov 15, 2018

MEMBERS ONLY: Teaming Up With ‘Never Trumpers’ Is Unpopular But Mandatory

Posted in Members Only, Politics

It’s never easy taking an unpopular position. It’s especially difficult when the unpopularity of the position comes from your own side of the political debate. I’ve somehow managed to be in this tight spot on more than one occasion. It was this way during certain stages of the Obama years — certainly during the Summer of Snowden back in 2013 when most of the left was lined up in support of...

Posted on Nov 07, 2018

MEMBERS ONLY: Cable News Is Already Trying To Handcuff And Ball-Gag The House Dems

Posted in Members Only, Politics

(image via Reuters) You might be surprised to learn that I’ve always kinda’ liked former RNC chairman and current MSNBC analyst Michael Steele. He’s a Never-Trumper and a seemingly reasonable guy regardless of his former political affiliations. Despite running the RNC, Steele was the first national Republican to confess to and apologize for the Republican “Southern Strategy” — collectively defining the party’s race-baiting tactics since the passage of the...