“Hannity has entered the pantheon of a true propagandist… Fox News has almost entirely jumped the shark. They have given up any semblance of conservatism and focused on an almost visceral hatred of all things Clinton and Obama.” — Former NSA and CIA chief Michael Hayden
Poor Lumpy. It’s gotta be a swirling hell inside the pea brain that sits underneath that used car salesman haircut. For years he’s been the consummate GOP lapdog, dutifully dispensing the talking points of the party day after day, night after night on the airwaves of its most potent propaganda organ. He was such an unquestioning little drone and for that he was rewarded with a fat paycheck, if not necessarily the respect of, well, anyone.
But then Trump came along and, as in so many Shakespearean tragedies and Hallmark TV movies, he threw it all away in the name of true love. Since coming under the spell of Donald Trump, whose warm orange ass he no doubt dreams of crawling inside and living out his days in perfect contentment, Hannity’s head has been one extended short circuit. Up is down. Black is white. Julian Assange is suddenly a Hillary-hating hero and not a guy who deserves to be arrested for threatening the security of America.
The best part is that no matter who points this out, whether it be Michael Hayden — who served under presidents Clinton, Bush and Obama — Jon Stewart, or even his own Fox News colleagues, Hannity doesn’t care. They just don’t understand true love. The heart wants what the heart wants — and Hannity’s heart wants his relationship with Trump to be the stuff of teen girl fan-fic. Trump completes him.
Let the haters hate, because Hannity knows that when the dust settles the man he’s carried a torch for — and has used that torch to burn what little credibility he had to the ground — is going to reward him with a job at Trump TV. And in return he’ll reward him with the job of being President of Hannity’s Heart. And they’ll live happily ever after. At least until Trump publicly humiliates Hannity in a predictable gesture of dominance and because, seriously, nobody respects Sean Hannity.
Update: Last night, Hannity spent the entire first half of his show digging into the “bombshell” report that Hillary Clinton is “a sex freak who paid fixers to set up illicit romps with both men AND women” currently running in — wait for it — The National Enquirer. Hannity even talked one-on-one to this alleged “Clinton Fixer,” Jeff Rovin, who also, it should be noted, used to be the editor for The Weekly World News. Yes, the tabloid that brought you the story of “Bat Boy,” “Babies Found Living On Board Titanic,” “Dolphin Grows Human Arms” and “Osama Captured by Rednecks.” You know, it’s genuinely a lot of fun to watch Hannity completely lose his fucking mind.